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Our work this summer is inseparable from the unique historical moment in which we find ourselves. At the CATLab, we’ve been exploring these issues both as a team and individually, and we think it’s important to share some of those stories.

Earlier this week, we heard stories from Sharon and Noah, who shared about how they had come to engage with systemic racism and begun to find their own places in fighting for justice. In this post, we’re hearing from Jordan, a developer and designer who deals with both the coding and creative sides, and James, one of our senior developers this summer.

Jordan: Learning How Her Privilege Can Uplift Others

Although Jordan, who describes herself as a “white upper-middle class woman,” had never been discriminated against because of her race, she said that her heart hurt for the Black community and she felt “frustrated for BIPOC in general” for the ways they’ve been mistreated and then silenced—and how “unspoken social contracts” were responsible for “perpetuating that oppression.” Referring to her whiteness, Jordan said, “I have been working on understanding my role in all of this, and I have been figuring out how to use my privilege to uplift voices who may have been drowned out.”

Jordan shared how her race and class gave her the “opportunity to go to private schools and live in wealthier neighborhoods,” but she added that, unfortunately, these communities were predominantly white. She said her mother told her that when Jordan was little and first met a black person, “I asked my mom why they looked like nighttime.” Her mom responded that people look “all sorts of ways,” but in the end “we are all made of the same thing and loved by the same creator.” Jordan said this idea really formed the way she thought about people who look or live differently than the way she does, concluding:

 “I don’t think color blindness is the aim; I think we should see the full spectrum of color and see it as beautiful, in a similar way how one wouldn’t want a rainbow to be devoid of color but shining unapologetically in its beauty.”

As she has continued to learn about racial justice, Jordan said that something that’s helped her grow is “humbling myself and putting my ego aside to listen to others’ experiences, from all sides of the situation.” Jordan’s emphasis on humility matched the conversations we had on the creative team as we worked on revising our script.

One of the guiding passages for those revisions was Philippians 2, which argues that Christians should respond to times of hardship not by looking out for themselves, but by looking out for each other and imitating Christ’s humility. Hebrews 12:1-2 reminds us that Jesus is our ultimate example for how to live a faithful Christian life, and Philippians 2:5-11 shows how he, having literally all the power in the world—being in very nature God—uses that power to submit to the Father for the sake of others. As Hebrews 5:8-9 puts it:

 "Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him.”

So how does Jordan seek to put this humility into practice? Simple: “listening instead of speaking.” Last semester especially, as members of the �Ļ�ӰԺ community were wrestling with conversations and protests about race, Jordan found that her role “was to use the platform I had to amplify those voices and create dialog around it, not to chime in.” As the social media manager for the Horizon, �Ļ�ӰԺ’s campus newspaper, she was able to create space for others to weigh in and express their thoughts.

She said she appreciated the similar openness and space for conversation that the CATLab has offered this summer. “Having the opportunity to talk about it, educate ourselves, and change in a professional environment is something that isn’t easily implemented in a company,” she noted, “and CATLab has responded to this situation with compassion, empathy, and an open mind.” She feels especially blessed to have people around her who are educated and who are also “willing to take the time and energy to share that knowledge.”

Jordan emphasized that this process of learning is ongoing: “I am still on a journey of understanding my privilege and unlearning my racist tendencies.” The main way she has been educating herself has been through listening to others and making sure she’s actually hearing what they have to say. “I understood that I could never understand what people of color on our campus go through,” she admitted, “but I could listen, along with my fellow constituents.”

James: Exploring How Systems Have Shaped His Story

When asked how he was responding to recent events, James was quick to remind us of the bigger picture. Referring to a post he’d seen on Instagram that argued George Floyd’s death wasn’t a “wake-up call” but rather “an alarm that’s been repeating since 1619,” James said that although he was glad that people and protests are now being heard, he’s also wrestling with the question of why it took so long to get this kind of response. “This isn’t the first time, this won’t be the last time,” he said. “Why has it taken us so long to see that there [are] problems around us? Is my experience not enough?”

James’s experience with systemic racism is closely tied to his experience as a first-generation college student. His parents immigrated from Mexico before he was born, making him the first in his family both to be born in the United States and to go to college. Even without the factor of racial bias, this background puts him at a systemic disadvantage simply because it meant that James didn’t have the same built-in support system as white Americans who have been in the country for more generations. And yes, many white Americans are poor or disadvantaged in other ways, but this support system includes less tangible assets, like knowledge and networks.

For example, James recalled how his parents’ lack of familiarity with the US education system added an extra challenge to making important financial decisions for college. Similarly, he described how he has had to figure out the corporate world largely on his own. Last summer, he began to understand the importance of networking, but even with that knowledge, James said, “I think I’ve found myself having to do a lot more than somebody else would. Again, my parents are from Mexico and they don’t have connections with a lot of people, much less business professionals.”

Such systemic disadvantages may be hard to discern if we see racism “only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group,” as feminist and anti-racism activist Peggy McIntosh wrote in That’s why there’s such an emphasis on systemic racism—racial inequalities that are reinforced by published policies and popular practices. The effects of systemic racism are so insidious that even those directly affected may not always be able to identify what’s going on. James says that reading has helped him understand “more of the specifics of the patterns that I’ve recognized in my own life.”

For James, the half-day we took to reflect on racial justice wasn’t anything new. Instead, it was “just me thinking back to what I’ve already thought with everything that’s been going on lately around the country and globe”—revisiting issues and experiences he’d already been wrestling with. One of his concerns was how the other members of the CATLab might react to his contributions, since “What I’m sharing isn’t head knowledge, it’s my experience. Obviously, people can take advantage of that; and I think that was a little bit of a fear.”

Fortunately, James pushed past that fear and chose to voice his perspective and experiences. So did many of the other people of color on the team. “At the end of the day,” said James, “the members of the CATLab gave me hope because it seemed like they would be good stewards of my story.” He also said that as much as he appreciated being able to “dig deep together” as the CATLab, he was also excited “for what can be done on the personal level in the times that we’re not meeting as a team.”

When asked what things had helped and inspired him on his journey to understand systemic racism and his place in it, James said, “I think the biggest thing is having people listen.” Sharon expressed a similar sentiment when she said, “Something that has been helping me grow is my friends and community who are willing to learn alongside me and to listen to my own experiences as a woman of color.” James said that his roommates have been an especially “great resource”—people with whom he’s able to sit down and talk. “It’s even more helpful that they’re people of color,” James added, “so it’s less of me having to do explaining, more just feeling the comfort of other people that understand a similar struggle.” While he said he could point to a few individuals who had an impact on him, James said that he felt most supported by having conversations with other people of color and finding people who would listen well.

Conclusion

We hope that this collage of stories helps illustrate the wide range of experiences and responses to the world now. We’re all in different stages on the journey toward justice, but we’re all working to become better. Whatever our privilege and whatever our problems, it is important to take the time and effort to examine our systems and our stories and see how they intersect. Exploring that intersection helps us understand how each of us is uniquely positioned to make the world a better place.

A recurring theme in our stories is the power of listening to others. Not only does listening help us practice humility and learn from others, as Jordan has shown; but as James shared, listening helps other people feel validated and reminds them that they’re not alone. So this week, take the time to ask yourself who you may need to listen to—and make the effort to learn from and amplify those much-needed voices.

Keep up with how we continue on this journey throughout the rest of the summer by following us on social media: